Recently a friend suffered a miscarriage, and briefly I was reminded of the deep ache I suffered during my pregnancy loss. In her private blog she reflected on how misunderstood miscarriages are in our society … and how well-intentioned family, friends, and acquaintances so frequently mishandle the situation.
I confess I had an even briefer moment of mirth as her words sounded so similar to those of my blogging sister-in-law Erica McNeal in her e-book, Good Grief. Both women offer succinct advice and feedback to their readers on what one should – or shouldn’t – say to a person enduring times of grief.
In the same token I found myself marveling at how differently God hard-wired each of us. At times I still marvel at how thoroughly He healed me of my loss … the comfort that is so palpable in the knowledge that I will spend eternity with my baby. An eternity that is more secure than that of my surviving children (at least until they embrace Y’shua as their Messiah). I stand confident and comforted in the restoration of my loss.
I also find myself reflecting on our near-flippant attitude towards those who pass without knowing Y’shua. “Well, they’re going to Hell …” in the same tone we might casually say, “Well that’s too bad …” We may not say it, but I’m sure many of us think it. Or in a discomforting moment, we may fully consider the eternity they have chosen – an eternity banished from God’s presence … and shove the thought aside, unwilling to foster the grief of a very permanent loss.
This isn’t the first time I’ve considered a heartbreaking truth:that God allows us to experience childloss to bring us closer to His heart. And I don’t just mean in the commonly acknowledged sense of turning to Him in our grief …
… no, I dare to suggest that women especially stand posed to truly understand God’s grief – at least as far as our human limitations will allow. Even more surely as our little ones are formed in the secret place of our wombs, every soul that enters this earth first springs forth from the Heart of the Father. He knows and loves them infinitely more than even a mother can fully imagine.
And the hope we cling to – the hope of reuniting with our prematurely taken child – it pales in comparison to the hope He has for each of His children.
Any woman who has suffered childloss can tell you that we fight to sustain our babies. Miscarriage is a physically and emotionally draining battle. And if our child is already born, we pound the gates of heaven for their continued survival and Salvation. The battle continues … we are all someone’s daughter. We are all someone’s son. And we were all first molded in the bosom of the Creator. I pray we can in our grief embrace the intimate understanding He has granted us of His heart – and rally to battle for the restoration of His lost children.