Muddlesome terms ...

I blew it.  Again.

I won't quite call it the "2X4" treatment, but G-d did bring me to a rather rude awakening recently.  About something I'd essentially been claiming in err.  So this post comes to you with the sheer purpose of clarifying some muddlesome terms.

For some time now, I've been claiming to have "a foot in the door of the Hebrew Roots movement."  Frankly, I saw the phrase used by a professional blogger and thought it rather clever.  I also completely misunderstood it.

See, I had grown up literally immersed in a family culture impassioned for Israel, both the land and the people.  My parents were long-time supporters of Chosen People Ministries and I was practically raised listening to the very pro-Israel Calvary-style teaching of Chuck Missler (Koinonia House Ministries).  I loved the history and culture of my Savior, my Messiah.   But we weren't Messianic; we were, in a word, non-denominational.  Actually, "interdenominational" would probably be a better description.  Mom was raised Roman Catholic.  Dad was raised Nazarene.  Then he opted for LDS for a while (but that didn't "take" with him, either).  By the time I was born, they just kind of served G-d in whatever church He deposited them.   Calvary Chapel and Converge Worldwide (formerly known as the General Baptist Convention) were the strongest influences in my memory of church involvement.  But I digress ...

Point is, I never really realized how hard-core people could-and would-get about doctrinal differences.  Romans 14 was a bit of mystery to me.  Why the heck did Paul have to write all that?  The bitter reality of how divided the Bride becomes over issues not relating to salvation didn't quite hit home ... until college.

Phew-boy!  That was a rude awakening.  I joined a supposedly non-denominational campus ministry but as I got to know people, those doctrinal differences really started to make their presence known.  I decided I needed some kind of label, an identifier so that people wouldn't be so taken aback when I opened my mouth.  You know, kind of like the Scottish Tartan?   The tartan tells the clan's history and mantra in a single visual.  Christians, I've found, kind of lean on their eschatalogical self-ascribed labels to do the same.

Originally I said I had Messianic (Jewish) leanings as far as doctrine was concerned, but that wasn't altogether correct.  Still, given all the options out there, it seemed the best fit ... except for the whole, "I wasn't born a Jew" part.  I am a Celt saved by and completely in love with a Jewish Messiah, sworn to serve the God of the Hebrews.  How the heck am I supposed to "label" that succinctly?

So when I first heard the term, "Hebrew Roots," I thought "Sure!  Gentile church has roots in the Hebrew faith system.  This label acknowledges the validity of both Old and New Testaments to the Gentile Believer.  Awesome."

I should have done my homework.

Yes, the Hebrew Roots movement does place heavy emphasis on Torah Observance by the followers of Y'shua (Jesus) and frankly, I take no issue with that.  In fact, I am not posting to critique the Hebrew Roots movement at all, but to simply correct my own misinterpretation ... and apologize for any misinformation I may have communicated.  I will state, however, that there IS a distinctive difference between the Hebrew Roots movement and Messianic Judaism.  Don't mix them up - you'll likely offend a whole lotta people like I'm sure I did.  ::hide::

It's still difficult for me to succinctly define my personal beliefs concerning the Gentile church and Torah observance (though Jews for Jesus touched on it beautifully).  I'd have to return to my old claim, "I'm a gentile in love with the G-d of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob."  And I want everyone to know Him as I do.  Yes, I am a bit preoccupied with the ways of my Kinsman Redeemer, much in the same way I'm preoccupied with my husband and his ways.  And perhaps that's better than any title.

DIY Non-toxic Shampoo!

Ok, so it’s not my typical type of post, but since people were asking for the recipe and results … J

So, why make your own shampoo?  Well, I’ll tell ya: toxicity, cost, and effectiveness.  Yes, in that order.  It was my friend (and Arbonne Associate) Rachel who alerted me to the toxic ingredients in most of my go-to health and beauty products, thus launching me on my “eliminate the toxins!” journey.  (Or craze, depending on who you talk to.)  Unfortunately, I can’t afford Arbonne routinely … and the Environmental Working Group Cosmetics Database that Rachel pointed me to left me feeling really discouraged.  Finding products that were easily available; economical; and non-toxic really presented a challenge.  So I started scrounging blogs for help.

Many people have had luck with the “No-poo” method.  But I had my doubts … and upon reading one bloggers review that it did NOT work well with baby-fine hair, I felt justified in my hesitation.  That being said, if you want a truly cheap and green hair-cleaning product, just go with good ‘ol baking soda, diluted in water.  Then rinse with vinegar to eliminate tangles.  Voila’!  Clean hair.

In any case, I’d also read that Dr. Bronner’s “Magic” Castille Soaps could be used as shampoo, so long as you “Dilute, dilute, dilute!”  However, a couple of months yielded less than satisfactory results.  I have oily scalp, and using the Dr. Bronner’s seemed to simply encourage that.  I needed something definitively formulated for my oily, dandruff-prone scalp and multi-textured hair (a lovely side-effect of three pregnancies: half my hair is baby fine and straight; the other half is more wiry and curly).  I’ve been learning a lot about how certain natural oils and essential oils interact with the skin since beginning my cloth diapering journey; so I knew that while my skin needed gentle moisturizers with the presence of antimicrobial agents, my tresses themselves needed easily-absorbed high-volume moisture.  Then I stumbled across this formula and knew I’d hit pay dirt—it only needed a few modifications.

A note on dandruff:  of the herbal anti-dandruff options found on the web and in books, tea tree oil is the most commonly accepted.  I based the concentrations I used off the advice found at the LIVESTRONG website.  Other essential oils were added according to these guidelines provided by Organic Impact.  

 

For normal/combination hair, combine:

1.       ½ C Dr. Bronners Baby Mild Castille Liquid Soap

2.       ½ C whole coconut milk (preferably organic)

3.       ½ tsp. extra virgin olive oil (again, preferably organic)

4.       15 drops peppermint essential oil – pH balance for dry or oily hair

5.       (Optional) 25 drops tea tree oil – 5% formula for dandruff treatment

6.       (Optional) ~1/2 tsp guar or xanthan gum—this can function as a thickener, though it seemed to me that the Dr. Bronner’s cut right through it

Mix well and transfer into a bottle.  It’s very runny, so be aware of this when applying.  Although I haven’t tried it, another blog recommended the use of cooled green tea in place of the distilled water to “wake one’s roots” and “invigorate the scalp”.  Might be worth a try someday. 

Review: the shampoo, while runny, blended beautifully.  It cleaned my hair well without feeling overly “squeaky” or stripped.  I opted out of conditioning to see how it played out as is.  My hair, once damp, released its tangles without too much protest; and I was delighted by the manageable texture the mix afforded my hair.  It’s been relatively easy to manage and I’ve not had the urge to itch.  Overall, pleased … and I even doubled its use as a bodywash. 

Since I’d found another recipe that used water instead of coconut milk, I decided to try it for my children’s shampoo (with the exception of the baby, their hair is too long and thick for a multi-purpose baby wash).

 

For fine hair, combine:

1.       ½ C distilled water (okay, I cheated and used filtered water that had been previously boiled and cooled)

2.       ½ C Dr. Bronner’s Baby Mild Castille Liquid Soap

3.       ½ tsp organic extra-virgin olive oil

4.       15 drops lavender essential oil—calming and mildly antimicrobial

5.       (Optional) 10 drops tea tree oil—2% formula for cradle cap

Mix as above.  I recommend using a foaming pump dispenser for this one.

Review:  Though the tea tree oil overpowers the lavender a bit, I was impressed overwell with how well this mix agreed with the kids’ hair and skin.  It actually brought out their curls in the same way that the adult formula textured my choppy waves.  And sinceDr. Bronners, along with the tea tree, lavender, and peppermint essential oils have other common uses in the “green household”, the initial investment was well worth it.

Following the Way of Y’shua

“Why do you call Jesus ‘Y’shua'?”

“What does it mean for you personally to adopt Jewish practices/theology?”

“You know, you really shouldn’t eat kosher.  God freed us from the law, so you’re practicing false religion.”

Yeah, I’ve been fielding these questions and comments for a while.  That last one has been my personal “favorite” since the challenge was issued a good four years ago.  Still, it reveals a lot of confusion and tension within the Body of Christ.  And that in turn begs the question, why does the Hebrew Roots movement illicit so much controversy?

Well, now that I’ve thrown that question out there, I’m not going to answer it.  I’ll let you, dear readers, chew on it for a while.  In the meantime, I’ll attempt to answer the first two questions as concisely as possible.  J

The first answer is simple.  I call Jesus Y’shua because … well, that’s His name!  Jesus is the Anglicized rendering of Jesu (yay-soo), the Greek version of the Aramaic name Y’shua; which is in turn a contraction of the Hebrew Y’hoshua (Joshua).  Y’shua is what His family, friends, and disciples murmured at His birth, called out along the dusty trail, shouted at His triumphant entry, and tearfully whispered at the foot of His cross.  In contrast, the name “Jesus” carries with it all the weight of 2000 years of bad publicity and corrupted institutions.  It reminds me of the line from the film A Knight’s Tale: “The pope may be French, but Jesus is English!”  And in a way, isn’t that the attitude of the western church?  We have lost our humility in the sense of remembering that we are the grafted branch, not the Vine itself.  I call Him Y’shua because I understand how it feels to have your name butchered by the English language.  My mother and husband are the only people who use my true name.  I am okay with that, but it was a major driving force behind the shift in my heart.  I imagine He enjoys hearing His name uttered in its original form as much as I do … particularly by His Bride.

The second answer is a bit more complex.  … although, I confess it’s not too different from my answer to question #1.

In Christian culture, we often refer to the Bible as “God’s Love Letter.”  And while it is a very profound metaphor, I have found it to be a very convicting and weighty one.  Imagine pouring out your story to your Beloved: your personal history and family culture; your thoughts and dreams; your outpouring of love for your Beloved and your dreams for your life together … and your Beloved, after reading through the letter, decided to only pay attention to those parts that she decided were relevant to her?  Would you be surprised?  Hurt …?

Torah is essentially God’s way of introducing Himself to humanity.  “Hello world, this is Me.”  And to draw a tangible contrast, He called the children of Israel to be His ambassadors.  “Be Holy because I am Holy.” (Leviticus 11:44)  He designated a lifestyle that would enable the world see boundless fascets of His character.  He showed, in no uncertain terms that: 1) He is a jealous God, demanding “all or nothing” as our love and devotion is concerned; 2) that He cares deeply about our physical, emotional, and spiritual health; and 3) He is not a respector of persons (all people are equal and all sins, also equal).  And that’s just brushing the surface.  As He implied to us at the banishing from Eden (Genesis 3:21 compared to 3:7), Torah confirms in detail that without the shedding of blood, there can be no redemption of sin.

Did you ever walk in your parent’s footprints as a child?  I remember every first snowfall (few as they were).  I never wanted to mar the beauty of the fresh blanket of snow.  My parents often went out to collect firewood from our shed, and I would carefully walk behind them, trying to keep my feet in the depressions they’d already made.  Yes, part of it was to preserve the beauty … but one particular winter, it was also because the drifts were so high I was terrified I would sink in and get stuck!  I didn’t want to stumble.

When Y’shua walked the earth, he stepped in the way of Torah.  Contrary to popular belief, not once did he break Torah or suggest that anyone else do.  Instead, by His very life He fulfilled all of the promises of Torah (Matthew 5:17).

… but there’s more to it than that.  Growing up as a home schooled child, a daily Bible study was the very foundation of my education.  And no Scripture embedded itself more firmly into my child’s heart than the book of Ruth.  Ruth has often been declared a “type” or foreshadowing of the Gospel.  Simply put, a Gentile bride (Ruth) is introduced to the ways of her Kinsman Redeemer (Boaz) by her spiritual mother, a daughter of Zion (Naomi).  In turn, upon her redemption, Ruth introduces Naomi to the person of Boaz; and Boaz moreover redeems Naomi and her inheritance in addition to Ruth.  Now, if Ruth is a type of the Gentile Bride (the church); Naomi represents the Daughter of Zion (Israel); and Boaz in turn is a type of the Kinsman Redeemer (Y’shua) … the story is not yet complete.  The Bride has been redeemed, but what of the Daughter of Zion and her inheritance (typified by a field, so I’m thinking land – either the Promised Land or the planet in general)?  The metaphor is clear that Ruth adopted the ways of both her mother-in-law and her redeemer.  It is also clear that she was personally invested in the Naomi’s restoration and reconciliation to Boaz’s household.

The story is not yet complete, and the full realization that the part that I (as part of the Gentile Bride) have to play has only begun … that epiphany rooted deeply in my heart at a very impressionable age.  I must learn the ways of my Hebrew Messiah.  And I must do my part to introduce the Daughter of Zion to Him.  As an anthropologist, I also understand that the only way to introduce a people group to an unfamiliar idea is to first invest in their culture.

I am the Bride:  I have covenanted to place myself under my Bridgroom’s headship, a part of his household.

I am the Grafted Branch: my very lifeforce flows from an ancient Root.

I follow His ways because … I love Him!  His God is my God … His people, my people.

The Root of all (my) Sin ...

April 11

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.”  ~Philippians 2:3~

Ouch.  Although I read it two days late, the timing of this devotional entry was just a bit … convicting.  For on April 11^th, I discovered I had hurt someone.  Since (I’m assuming) most of my blog readers are also friends on Facebook, chances are you know that when I’m bored, I have a bad habit of posting either my opinion on a controversial subject or a link to an article on one (generally married to a leading question).   I realize some people do this out of a desire simply to create controversy.  For the record, I do not.   Unfortunately, the best of intentions are generally the fodder of folly.

I know I can be a know-it-all.  I don’t know how it started. I know I’ve always had a desperate need to be heard.  To have someone acknowledge that I have offered a legit original thought.  And when it was finally validated (by someone other than my mother) in college, I found a powerful sense of identity.  It came to my attention that I perceived things differently from everyone I interacted with.  And when conversations went well (which they generally did at school), I learned something of how a peer thought even as they learned about my thought process. Despite our completely opposite opinions, we were truly interested in where the other was coming from: this meeting of minds was mutually beneficial.  But there was always a common denominator amongst the students in Artzen Hall: we were all truth-seekers.  Never satisfied with face-value expressions of belief (including our own), we always sought the root of where those beliefs and ideals came from.

I miss school.  I miss those deep dialogues with friends who came from completely different experiences and worldviews.  The problem is, I thought I could use Facebook as a substitute for what had been such a powerful and invigorating experience at school. I quickly learned that most others who posted their opinions weren’t interested in dialogues, so after a couple of misunderstandings I decided that it might be best to keep my thoughts to myself (unless the poster asked a question or encouraged dialogue).   I did, however, hope that everyone subscribed to my feed would be on the “same page”:  I was interested in hearing other perspectives and the experiences behind them.  I am never interested in arguing or having my perspective rebuttled.  But as another blogging friend recently posted, “Facebook is a minefield.”  And frankly, I really shouldn’t have expected to step into a minefield without causing harm to self or someone else.

It’s been said that since we are biologically animals, humans will respond to aggression with a fight or flight response.  I am a fighter when I think it counts.  The thing is, it’s not that I hold my opinions in such high esteem.  It’s that recently, life has me so spun about that any time someone counters my thoughts or tells me I’m wrong, I feel as though my entire identity is under attack.  Instead of perceiving that they are only trying to defend their experiences, I lash out as if my entire sense of self-worth is at stake.  And the more impassioned I become, the loftier I wield the English language.

The next thing I know, I realize someone has unfriended me.  And when I reach out to offer an apology for whatever it is I’ve done to offend said individual, I learn that I have conducted myself in a manner wholly inappropriate for a servant of God.  My ego has gotten in the way.  I have left another person feeling belittled.  And for that, I am deeply, desperately sorry.  Not just for betraying my Witness by sowing a seed of bitterness in another heart, but also because I know all too well how it feels to be talked down to, belittled, made to feel like an idiot … and it’s tearing me apart to realize that I have done the same to someone else.

I have asked this person’s forgiveness, but the whole incident has made me brutally, painfully aware of the dangers of social media to the Christian walk.  Now, more than ever, “Every Man” (or woman) has an opportunity to make themselves heard.  This can be a good thing as Evangelism is concerned.  But like the tongue, the fingers are a double-edged sword.  Is building the Kingdom of God our motivation, or have we become lost in our own crusades?  Are we motivated by a desire to ultimately bring people closer to God?  “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.”  If the heart is wounded, or seeking affirmation, the words that flow from agitated hands are just as likely to be driven by ego as they are by Truth.  This is my Achilles heel.  I am a Truth-seeker, and when God is at my helm, a Truth-sayer.  However, if I do not actively give my mind, tongue, and hands to God each moment, all three can quickly be used as devastating weapons for the Enemy.  Mind you, I don’t expect to win any popularity contests even when I am operating in God’s will.  But that’s no excuse to inflict pain on others with absent-minded “intellectual gymnastics.” 

So if I have ever made you feel belittled, please forgive me.  Understand this has never been my intent.  And please, keep a short account with me if you feel I have spoken out of turn.   We are called to be a united Body.  I cannot allow my ego to be used as a tool of the Enemy.

“It’s not the mountain that we conquer, but ourselves.” ~Sir Edmund Hillary~

A practical & personal reflection on cloth diapering ...

There are a lot of blogs out there discussing the "411" of cloth diapering: the pros, the cons, the costs, the savings, the environmental impact (or lack thereof), the options ...

... this is not one of those posts.

This is just a personal review that will hopefully give any non-cloth parent a glimpse into the world of "fluffy love" ... and hopefully bring a knowing smile to the face of those who are firmly fixed in that world.

It wasn't until my second child was 4 months old that I launched headfirst into the world of cloth diapering (my first step into real sustainable living).  I had flirted with the idea before when my firstborn was an infant, but made a bad investment and promptly gave up.  First life lesson: don't trust big retail.  They make their money off disposable diapers and consequently will not carry/sell quality cloth.  Use your search keywords wisely.  Join a cloth-oriented community and get veteran advice.

Armed with new information but still very much a novice, I ordered a large starter package from a small business "CD" retailer.  Second rookie error: purchasing an entire stash based on pictures and description (not to mention the assumption that the economy option was holistically best for us).  Prefolds, one-size covers, and a half-dozen pockets: here I come!  Of course, my baby's shape did not work well with the prefold + wrap method.  I was having enough trouble finding clothes to fit her chubby frame, but the added bulk of her diapers made the effort almost fruitless.  The only diapers that fit well were her pockets ...

... rookie error #2.  I resold her almost new stash at well below their standard resale value (remember what I said about joining a community?  I hadn't yet ...) and stashed up on the only other type/brand of diaper I was familiar with ...
... and to my utter dismay, 10 days after I moved her entirely into her pocket diapers, she developed a sensitivity to synthetic fibers.  And the term "sensitivity" is putting it lightly.  My poor baby girl developed a lobster-red, evenly raised, weepy rash that covered her entire diaper region.  She could not even sleep.  We both cried for hours ...
... and via Facebook I wailed to my only two CD friends about my sweet baby's agony.  One sent me straight to the web's leading cloth diapering community, DiaperSwappers.com.  And for that, I am forever in her debt.

I spent hours in the Diaper Chatter forums, posting desperately about my epic fail at CD.  Fortunately, some much wiser mamas came to my rescue and redirected me to the wonderful world of natural fibers.  Using Froogle as my guide, I searched the lowest prices on a selection of recommended diapers and found a few options to try. (Sadly, it didn't occur to me at that time to to sample diapers via the DiaperSwappers Marketplace, or I would have saved substantially.)   A month and several hundred dollars later, my daughter finally had a stash of diapers that 1) fit well and 2) was kind to her skin.  With that settled, I was blessed to learn the wonders of the For Sale or Trade forum, where I recovered about 75% of my losses.

Edit: You may be wondering why I didn't simply give up and put my daughter back into disposable diapers after the rash issue.  Well, initially we did.  However, after that sensitivity to synthetics was triggered, the only disposables she could wear without relapsing the rash were Huggies Pure&Natural (though I'm sure 7th Generation would have also worked).  After my husband and I crunched numbers, we realized that even after our losses and another substantial investment in organic cloth diapering products, we'd still come in marginally ahead of diapering her in disposables.  Besides, one of my favorite aspects of cloth diapering is the utter lack of "pooplosions."  I'd rather routinely launder dirty diapers than routinely grapple with blow-outs as I did with my son.

My daughter grew, and still more diapers were purchased and resold.  I honestly don't know if I have saved anything over disposables in my cloth diapering journey with her, but I have gained so much that disposables would never have given me.  I have learned about the wonders of natural fibers (especially wool!) and the hidden dangers of synthetics.  I have learned the art of resale.  I have developed relationships with some incredible women that I otherwise would never have met.  Cloth was my gateway into both thrifty and green lifestyle education and decisions.

And hey, after dropping easily $1000/year in disposables, wipes, rash creams, and increased garbage costs on my son - who, because of the "feel dry" nature of disposables, didn't potty train until the age of 3 1/2 - even if I dropped $2000 dollars on diapers to from birth to toilet on my elder daughter, it's well worth it.

Armed with over a year of life lessons in cloth diapering, I was excited rather than overwhelmed to prepare to CD my third child from birth.  Yes, I showed the true sign of "fluff addiction."  After picking myself up from the shock of discovering I was pregnant, my first thought was "Yay!  An excuse to buy more diapers!"  I know, it sounds crazy.  How does that saying go?  "You'd have to be there"?

Well, if you made it through this disjointed post, stay tuned.  I'll give you an insider's view of one child's stash from birth to potty training.

New Baby Checklist

A friend of mine, expecting her first child, asked me for a list of what she'd need.   After three kids, I focused on what I wish I'd known while preparing for my eldest 6 years ago ...  

I know the baby industry is overwhelming, and pre-formatted “registry checklists” are often misleading.   Too often, they cite luxuries as “necessities” and occasionally overlook something you might actually need.  They also tend to leave an expectant parent with the impression that they have to acquire everything before the baby arrives.  This is simply not true.  As a friend once put it, all you need to bring baby home is “boobs, diapers, blankets, and carseat.”  Technically, this is true, though a tad minimalist for my taste.  Still, it stands as a good reminder to take it easy.  Also, keep in mind three things as you shop:

1)      What’s your budget?  If you live hand-to-mouth, I advise only acquiring items as your baby is in need of/ready for them.

2)      What’s your lifestyle?  Do you plan to nurse or bottlefeed?  Reuse diapers or dispose them? Wear your baby or “stroll” him/her?  Co-sleep, bed-share (yes, there is a difference), or separate nursery?

3)      Less is more!!  Remember, every item you accumulate is something that you will have to maneuver around and keep clean.  It is also something that could get lost or broken (or break your toes in the middle of the night).

Feeding

If you plan to exclusively breastfeed, you really don’t need anything, though a good handpump and one or two bottles (along with a pack of storage bags) for emergencies or “parents’ nights out” might not be a bad idea.  There’s nothing worse than being caught unprepared with a severe illness rendering you incapable of feeding your baby for 24 hours.  Believe me, I know!

Part-time bottle feeding:  3-4 small (4-6oz) bottles, a regular pack of storage bags, and a good single or double-electric breastpump (Lansinoh is a good choice).  Make sure your bottles are “nature shaped” to minimize nipple confusion; and determine number of large bottles later when you decide how you want to continue (a lot of part-timers transition directly from small bottles to early sipper cups).

Full-time bottle feeding: 6-8 small &  4-6 large (8-12 oz) bottles; a large pack of storage bags; and a hospital-grade breastpump (look into Medela or Ameda); or supplement with formula

Diapering:  For the sake of this list, I’m only going to advise what you’ll need within the first month or two.

Disposables – expect to go through a standard “jumbo” pack every 3-5 days with a newborn (sadly, "value packs" are generally unavailable in newborn or preemie sizes).  As most babies lose their umbilical stumps between 10 and 20 days, I'd recommend starting out with 4 packs of the newborn size (given your baby has an average birthweight).  That should give you two weeks of diapers, give or take.

Reusable/cloth – if planning full-time cloth diapering, build a stash of 2.5-3 dozen changes for a newborn.  This can look like 30 pockets or all-in-ones; or 3 dozen fitteds/flats/prefolds with 6 covers; or 5 hybrid “daypacks” (which typically include two covers and 6 inserts).  You'll also want cloth wipes (half again as many as you have diapers) and a wetbag for travel (a step garbage can makes a great diaper pail).

Part-time cloth – if you want to supplement with cloth at home to ease the strain on your budget, then start with a half-dozen pockets/all-in-ones; or 6-12 fitteds/flats/prefolds and 2-3 covers; or one hybrid system daypack.  I highly recommend using a “one-size” option to maximize the value. A dozen cloth wipes and a medium wetbag are also advisable purchases.

Transport: your carseat choice will tie in closely with your method of pedestrian transport.  Most strollers are not designed to safely accommodate a newborn (improper recline, neck support, and restraint placement).  So if you plan on using a stroller, I recommend an infant-only bucket-style carseat that can snap into s stroller.  Try to go with one that can accommodate a wider length/weight range, like the Graco Snugrude 30 or Evenflo

If you plan to Babywear look for a high-quality soft-structured carrier with proper ergonomic support for both parent and infant.  Beco and Ergo are good brands.  Or, you can wrap, but consider how long you plan to do so.  Moby’s are popular for younger babies but tend to stretch as babies grow.  A woven (like Wrapsody) is a better option for long-term use.  Ringslings (like Sleeping Baby Productions) are very user-friendly but limited as to options for carrying positions (the bulk of baby’s weight will be on one shoulder or the other).

Babywearing also opens up the option of starting your newborn immediately in a convertible carseat.  Built to accommodate babies from 5 to 40 lbs in a rear-facing capacity, this type of carseat really gives you the best “bang for your buck.”  It will also encourage you to rear-face your child to the age of two (a direction most state laws are heading).

Furniture: in terms of the first 6 months or so, this really boils down to where you want your baby to sleep and where you want to change them.

Bedsharing: there’s really only one safe way to bedshare.  Remove all blankets/pillows from your bed and invest in a sleep position like the now discontinued Tres Trias.  This prevents baby from rolling off your bed but minimizes the risks of smothering by loose blankets or soft pillows.

Co-sleeping:  my preferred method of sleeping a newborn entails a separate bed in the same room.  We use an Arm’s Reach Mini Cosleeper, which is essentially bassinet-sized pack-n-play that can lash to the side of one’s bed.  If you’ve got a night-time nurser, it’s a lifesaver.  Another option is a classic bassinet or pack-n-play. 

Separate room:  if you’re going to have your baby in a separate room from the get-go, you might as well skip straight to the crib.  Remember to avoid bumpers and other loose bedding.  Skip Hop makes some cute sheets and baby-sized blankets with all the style of a cribset if you’re wanting to liven things up a bit without compromising your little one’s safety.  Also, projectors are safer options than mobiles (you don’t have to worry about a climber pulling it down).

Changing station:  while you can invest in a separate changing table and dresser, I’ve found (particularly when co-sleeping) that simply using a curved changing pad on top of a low-boy dresser gives you what you need with the benefit of an extended life.

Bathing: focus on what will keep you and baby relaxed and secure in the early days of bathing.  Again, less is more.  In truth, newborns really shouldn't be bathed too frequently as their skin is so delicate.

Bath positioner or newborn-to-toddler tub (I selected a folding newborn tub for my youngest)
2 towels and 4-6 fine baby washcloths (the latter are a must when caring for blocked tear ducts!)
Gentle baby wash, and lotion or essential oils formulated for infants (ideally natural and unscented or minimally scented)

Comb and Brush

Nail clippers and files

Clothing:  rule of thumb: don’t buy too far ahead.  Not all babies match up with the retail idea of sizing.  My eldest wore 6 month clothing when he was 6 weeks old.  Sadly, he had been given a plethora of 6M clothing in spring/summer weight (he was a fall baby) … which he couldn’t use in the dead of winter.  For a newborn, you don’t need much:

6-8 side-snap tees (more if you have a spitter), preferably long-sleeved unless your baby is born in the heat of summer

3-4 swaddling blankets or woombies

3-4 rompers for quick outings

1-2 dress-up outfits (not really a “need”, but they’re fun)

6-8 pairs of socks (you really only need 4-6 pair, but baby socks have a notorious habit of disappearing)

Baby blankets – 2-3 (more if your baby is a spitter) of seasonal weight.

In 3M size, start small:

6-8 bodysuits (single use or for layering)

2-3 pairs of pants

4-6 rompers/sleepers

2-3 dress-up outfits

Jacket (as weather warrants)

Add sizes clothing as growth and seasons demand.

Health & Safety:

Pacifiers (optional, particularly if you plan to breastfeed) – they get dropped a lot, so you’ll want 3-4 to get started, long with 1-2 pacifier clips

Burp cloths – 2-3 is enough unless your baby is a spitter (my elder daughter would saturate 6 a day!)

Thermometer

Cool mist humidifier (warm mist if you can afford it!) 

Free & Clear detergent (note: Dreft contains Fabric softener, to which some babies will react)

Advisory: ignore the urge to stock up on baby "meds".  Most should not be administered to a child under three months without a doctor's recommendation, so you'll spare yourself the temptation to medicate.

Other gear:

Bouncer/rocker/swing:  You’ll want one to rest baby in the room you’re working, particularly if they’re awake.  The incline is invaluable when you baby inevitably gets a cold for the first time.  But which do you choose?  They all have pros and cons.

Bouncers are economical, compact, and provide a vibrating sensation that is incredibly soothing to most babies.  The danger in them comes in the form of addiction.  My eldest couldn’t sleep without his.

Rock-n-plays are simple, portable, and mid-range (price).  They also elevate baby nicely if you have other young children or pets. (I opted for a Rock-n-Play and haven’t regretted my decision.)

Swings are generally pricey and space-consuming.  Their benefit is a catch-22.  Many babies find them incredibly soothing; others (like mine) hate them with a burning passion.  Generally, you won’t know until after you’ve purchased and assembled one.

Playmat/Gym:  while not necessary, they make a nice clean floor space to introduce baby to tummy time or to keep them occupied in their “quiet alert” times.  If you live in a small space, aim for one that rolls or twists into a compact bundle.

Baby Booster: while I never had one of these for my first two, pics from friends have convinced me that a Bumpo or BeBePod is a worthwhile investment for a younger baby, particularly if he or she is showing signs of early independence in sitting or a desire to interact with the family.

Highchair:  Find a sturdy one that can support a younger baby and cleans easily.  You have a plethora of options; and if you live in a small home look for a space-saving highchair like one by Fisher Price.

Entertainer/Jumper:  an absolute must for an active baby who can not yet support his/her own weight.  This will enable them to burn off some of their curious energy without giving mom or dad a heart attack.  Look into Johnny Jumpers for a small-space solution.

“Older Baby” Safety: outlet covers are a must once your little one is mobile; and cabinet slip-locks are advisable.  Don’t bother with most other safety paraphernalia (our parents didn’t have them and we all survived to adulthood).

Bottom Line:  After three babies in tiny spaces, I learned the value of 1) downsizing; and 2) acquiring gear as baby needs it (and reselling what she no longer needed).  She’s 3 months now and the crib remains in storage.  We’ll probably invest in a highchair and entertainer for her in 3-6 months (though I do plan to get her a BeBePod next month).  Keep it Simple, Sweetheart!

Do Not be Anxious (God's got it handled) ...

When I posted the day before I delivered my youngest, little did I know I'd have quite the follow-up story.  Ironically, I never bothered to post the follow-up ... so here goes!

Many of you knew I was struggling internally with the circumstances surrounding my repeat c-section. I felt under duress from both sides of the gammit, from the hospital "umbrella ban" on v-bac's (regardless of individual risk factors) to well-intentioned members of the natural parenting community who were pressuring me to "fight" for a v-bac ... as my duedate rolled closer (and then passed), I found myself a wreck. I finally gave it back to God and said, "please insure the delivery that You know is best for this baby as only You would know."

When I had an episode of prodromal labor and began dilating at 37 weeks, I began to wonder if He was going to force the quick v-bac I'd been half-anticipating. Then it seemed that fizzled out so I resigned myself to another surgery (though I was grateful for the extra prep time).

Initially the whole check-in and pre-op process were uneventful ... until the nurses struggled to get DD2's heartbeat. Although it was blatantly obvious she was active, she kept evading the sensor and it took them a good half-hour to get her vitals. In the process, one nurse looked at me with a startled expression and asked, "Don't you feel that?" Apparently I was having regular and rather intense contractions, but was oblivious. This is where it got interesting: she expressed with some concern that the baby's heartrate would dip with every contraction. Not enough to cause serious concern (since they were going to be taking her in 45 minutes anyways), but enough to take note of.

Again, the rest of the process was "textbook" until I heard my OB say, "Oh, there you are," followed by one of the nurses say, "oh dear - it's around her neck." It turns out the umbillical cord was not only wrapped around Rose's neck, but twice and much tighter than they generally see it before the baby exits the birth canal. Essentially, if I'd delivered her naturally, it would likely have cut off her circulation before she'd even crowned. Of course, no one had any way of knowing this - except, of course, the One who'd answered my prayers. In retrospect, I am incredibly grateful that circumstances dictated the c-section.

All that being said ... the fact that I already was in labor had prepped her beautifully to enter the world! She screamed bloody murder for a solid 20 minutes and scored 9 and 10 on her Apgar (upon which I got a quiet aside from my OB that "these East German nurses never give out 10's!")

In loving memory: She carries for her middle name that of my beloved Auntie Lou, who's birthday she shared with her duedate. This incredible woman could have stepped out of the Sister Act films, as a spunky nun and inner-city school principal who lost her 4-year battle with cancer two years ago ...

Dear God, here's my wishlist ...

Well, it's the new year and "Letters to Santa" season is over ... for eleven months., anyways  Still, I have to smile at the faith of small children, studiously writing out their heart's desires to the memory of a saint who sacrificed much to supplement the needs of the poor.  With requests ranging from greedy to superficial to whimsical to profound, these children trust that their wishes will be heard ... and answered.

Y'shua challenged us to approach his father like children, to lay our heart's desires before Him.  He desired that we would trust Him to listen and answer.  "You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead?  Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not!  So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him."  Luke 11:11-13 (NLT) 

Now I realize that this verse is about the receiving of the Holy Spirit, but I can't help but marvel at the ongoing metaphor Y'shua uses of children and parents for our relationship with Abba.  I know that while I don't want to encourage greed in my children, I also delight in giving them frivolous gifts occasionally ... and I would never turn down a request for a need so long as it was within my power to provide it.  In fact, I try to anticipate their needs in advance (almost to a fault).

I was thinking about this today as I was considering our most recent season of change.  We are now a family of five.  My husband is now a chaplain for the National Guard; and his regular job hours have been on the fritz for months with no end in sight.  I am grateful for his job (both of them), but family life has been difficult.  And of course, in our extensively dreary northwestern US climate, time outside is in short supply.  We live indoors.  With the recent addition of our youngest ... our 800 sq.ft. 2 bed/1bath (which is also our laundry) just isn't accommodating our growing family of very busy yet housebound children.  I know that the stifling atmosphere has been taking a heavy toll on both our emotional and physical health lately.

Moving on a tight budget is never easy.  I realized it was high time that I swallow my pride and petition our heavenly father for a home suited to accommodate our family for the next few years.  So, Abba, here's my wish ...

I long for a home where my children can grow up as I did: with room for imagination, and separate spaces for play, rest, and study.  I yearn for a yard where they can stretch their legs as the weather allows; and that I can make productive with the labor of my hands ... it looks something like this:

- 3 beds: one master (large enough to accommodate a nursery area), one for the kids, and a spare for guests (or where the siblings may redivide into)
- 1 bonus room: a corner for my sewing that I can gate off; and the rest a play room for the kids (separate from their bedroom, which I want to keep a place of rest)
- 2 baths (there's nothing worse than balancing stomach bugs and potty training with only one toilet available!)
- separate laundry (have you tried to keep a bathroom clean with lint dust floating everywhere?) - or laundry in an insulated attached garage
- country kitchen with lots of counter space (cooking from scratch and making your own bread, yogurt, etc. is a nightmare when counter space is in short supply)
- greatroom layout for both dining and living (fewer walls means fewer accidents), with built-in bookshelves a desired bonus
- pantry ... with a kitty door (weary of the daily task of enforcing in my children that they can't eat the cat food!)
- a fireplace or woodstove to provide heat when the power's out; or to supplement when it's exceptionally cold
- some kind of garage or shop for storage
- large yard with full sun (when it comes out) in at least half of it, where I'm allowed to establish a garden ... and hopefully a chicken coop ... and where my kids can play with improved parental visibility (i.e., a reduced likelihood of being picked off by a coyote than our current location) ... a dog run would be even better, as we're hoping to bring a therapy dog into our family.

...  hopefully I'm not asking too much ... but I'm trying to think like my children.  He may say "no" for reasons I cannot predict ... but that is no reason to not ask.  Because He may say "yes" ... and then some.

And you?  Would you approach your Heavenly Father with the hope and trust of a child?

A Loss Restored ...

Recently a friend suffered a miscarriage, and briefly I was reminded of the deep ache I suffered during my pregnancy loss.  In her private blog she reflected on how misunderstood miscarriages are in our society … and how well-intentioned family, friends, and acquaintances so frequently mishandle the situation.

I confess I had an even briefer moment of mirth as her words sounded so similar to those of my blogging sister-in-law Erica McNeal in her e-book, Good Grief.  Both women offer succinct advice and feedback to their readers on what one should – or shouldn’t – say to a person enduring times of grief.

In the same token I found myself marveling at how differently God hard-wired each of us.  At times I still marvel at how thoroughly He healed me of my loss … the comfort that is so palpable in the knowledge that I will spend eternity with my baby.  An eternity that is more secure than that of my surviving children (at least until they embrace Y’shua as their Messiah).  I stand confident and comforted in the restoration of my loss.

I also find myself reflecting on our near-flippant attitude towards those who pass without knowing Y’shua.  “Well, they’re going to Hell …” in the same tone we might casually say, “Well that’s too bad …” We may not say it, but I’m sure many of us think it.  Or in a discomforting moment, we may fully consider the eternity they have chosen – an eternity banished from God’s presence … and shove the thought aside, unwilling to foster the grief of a very permanent loss.

This isn’t the first time I’ve considered a heartbreaking truth:that God allows us to experience childloss to bring us closer to His heart.  And I don’t just mean in the commonly acknowledged sense of turning to Him in our grief …

… no, I dare to suggest that women especially stand posed to truly understand God’s grief – at least as far as our human limitations will allow.  Even more surely as our little ones are formed in the secret place of our wombs, every soul that enters this earth first springs forth from the Heart of the Father.  He knows and loves them infinitely more than even a mother can fully imagine.

And the hope we cling to – the hope of reuniting with our prematurely taken child – it pales in comparison to the hope He has for each of His children.

Any woman who has suffered childloss can tell you that we fight to sustain our babies.  Miscarriage is a physically and emotionally draining battle.  And if our child is already born, we pound the gates of heaven for their continued survival and Salvation.  The battle continues … we are all someone’s daughter.  We are all someone’s son.  And we were all first molded in the bosom of the Creator.  I pray we can in our grief embrace the intimate understanding He has granted us of His heart – and rally to battle for the restoration of His lost children.

Confessions of an Anxiety-driven Mommy

 ... it's just been one of those weeks.
You know those weeks - when the exact poetic things that you desperately need to not happen simply ... do?  And yes, I am ashamed to admit that I let it push me over the edge.  I have once again given myself over to anxiety.

Confession #1: Living in Fear  This impending repeat c-section with our third child (tomorrow!) has been a huge source of inner conflict.  Yes, I have expressed to friends and family my irritation that the insistence that I deliver my last two children by surgical removal be on the part of liability lawyers, not medical wisdom (even my doctor is a tad frustrated given my extremely low personal risk).  However, I haven't felt it worth the added stress to fight the hospital so I rolled with it.  And frankly, I still don't think it's worth the stress to fight the hospital - for me.  So I also have felt that for the bulk of this pregnancy, I have been defending my decisions to not fight for a v-bac or encourage spontaneous labor to everyone on the other side of the fence.  Admittedly, this constant turmoil has not set me up for a relaxed mind and contented heart as tomorrow looms.

To make matters worse, the one thing that utterly terrifies me (regarding a cesarean) is the risk of compounding recovery with pneumonia as I did last time.  I got sick before the surgery and this is one of the risks that walk hand-in-hand with a cesarean-section if one's immune system is already compromised.  Wouldn't you know, I got sick two nights ago after a long week of sleepless nights caring for my two children who shared the lovely bug.  Suffice it to say, I'm terrified.

Confession #2: Failure of Temperance   Lack of sleep and fear have really shortened my fuse with the other two.  Even though I already know their illness coping mechanisms, the patterns still really rubbed my already fraying handle on stress.  I know that when my son is in the initiating days of an illness, it's as if his spectrum symptoms utterly disappear.  He is a joy of a patient.  The flip side: as he starts to recover, his impulse control disappears entirely and the spectrum symptoms manifest twofold.
Meanwhile, anytime my daughter isn't feeling well, she turns utterly to the comfort of mother ... so my nearly weaned child wants only to nurse once again.  Let's face it: when working around a squirmy full-term belly and my own "don't touch me" nature when sick ... this did not make for an attractive couple of days.  I lost touch with God's strength to love my children without condition.  My short fuse made us all miserable.

  ... and I can't even begin to express my gratitude to and for my husband who was our rock from his first day off.

Confession #3: Running on Anxiety  Isn't it amazing how anxiety manifests itself in each of us in a manner that's as unique as our personalities?  Coping mechanisms can be such a dirty thing.  Some people bury themselves in work or other "constructive" (but nevertheless escapist) behavior.  Others cave in to addictions such as substances, gaming, or shopping.  Still others (like yours truly), manifest a form of stress-induced OCD.  My "escape" from addressing my anxiety directly is to attempt to set the perfect stage: from environment to costume.  Everyone thought I was traditionally "nesting" these last two weeks.  No, I was consciously trying to create the perfect stress-free living environment for when the baby came home and I was presumably out of commission.  This last week, despite combating illnesses, I found myself obsessed with filling the gaps in the kids' wardrobes - operating on the assumption that we were going to be hit with foul weather before I was capable of driving again.  But it didn't stop there: I desperately needed said outfits to coordinate together evenly.  And the greatest point of stress, as stupid as it sounds, was the baby's "take-home" outfit.  Everything was ... wrong: either "pull-over" (my kids have large heads so we avoid pullover items at all costs) design; or no sizes available under 9M, or simply too pink.  I found myself almost violently repulsed by the retail industries "cutesy" projections onto my child and her personality.

... and then I had to stop.  What is going on here? Who cares what the baby wears home from the hospital?  The only people who will see it are us and the nurses.  All that matters is that she's comfortable, not how she "looks."  I thought and prayed long and hard ... and finally the Spirit smacked me over the head with the obvious:

Take-home outfit.  The perfect home environment.  I am terrified of bringing this child home, outside the relative convenience of my body.  So here I am, operating on the assumption that I'll be laid to waste for the next six weeks with a complicated recovery, anticipating hell and high water to freeze my children, and trying to "fix" my anxiety by addressing all the symptoms of my fear instead of committing my terror to God directly.  It's not unlike taking medication for the flu: the symptoms will be masked and you might be able to operate more "normally" for a short time, but your body is still at war with an invading enemy and masking the symptoms may actually only lead to your battling the bug longer.

So from here on out, Y'shua's exhortation in Matthew 6:34 must be my focus:  "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Forgive me, Father, for not trusting You with all things that I cannot control.

Return to common sense?

So what does my layman’s opinion of a responsible budget look like?

Well, what does a private citizen’s responsible budget look like?  A list of spending priorities would probably look like this:

1)      Bare-bones necessities

2)      Debts

3)      Privileges

Just like ours, the national and state budgets begin with revenue, or income.  As individuals, we understand it is set for us by a range of factors including our qualifications and the availability of positions we qualify for.  The government has a tad more control over theirs, which primarily takes the form of taxes and fees.

Unfortunately, like the individual addicted to plastic and practically living on credit, our government seems to be trying to operate largely on money borrowed from other nations.  So, while Suze Orzman tells us it’s utterly irresponsible to carry excess credit and to pay off even those necessary loans as soon as possible, our leaders have decided that said rules don’t apply to their management of our nation’s finances.

Wouldn’t it be prudent for them to mirror their budget on those of the people?

Here’s what I propose (and I know I’m not the first):

Flat rate tax, with exemptions only for those falling below the poverty bracket.  Let’s just make sure there is a definite distinction drawn between small businesses and individuals, shall we?  My husband and I have had the – erm, “joy” of paying self-employment tax even when we fell well below the poverty line.  It is because of this that I understand why self-employed individuals are so worried when the Democratic Party speaks about raising taxes on the “rich.”  “Rich” and “poor” are highly arbitrary concepts.

Reduced government spending.  America used to be strong because communities supported their own.  And, as I mentioned in prior posts, government officials were motivated by their passions for the people, not reimbursement, to represent.  So my slashes would include:

1)      Pay cuts for government officials (including a return to a seasonal congress).

2)      Transition to community-supported food and housing programs.

3)      Reduction in federal funding of public education (yes, I know I’m going to get slammed for this on – remember what I said about local community?)  In other words, reduce the federal education budget to educational necessities.  Frankly, it doesn’t impress me that most American high school graduates may have stellar sports programs yet can’t pass a general history test.  Get it back to the 3 R’s and the classics (science, technology, poli-sci, literature).  Let the communities draw together and labor to provide extra-curriculars such as sports and fine arts.  Chances are greater love and pride will be poured into the effort that way.

4)      Medical … well, I’ll address that shortly.

Eliminate international debt.  I’m sorry, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.  We need to quit borrowing from Peter to pay Paul … the sooner we’re debt-free, we can quit whining about never having any money.

Regarding health care:  those who know me have heard my opinions on so-called health care.  I honestly don’t know how our current president came to the conclusion that it was logical to penalize anyone who didn’t carry health insurance … when insurance is exceedingly costly and unemployment is at an all-time high.  Shouldn’t we be addressing the problem at the source?

Lawyers.  We are a sue-happy nation.  Something goes wrong, and we want someone to pay.  Because of a few irresponsible doctors who committed legit crimes of malpractice, now all doctors and hospitals are required to carry inexorbinate rates of malpractice insurance.  The trickle-down effect is crippling not only to our medical practitioners, but to us as patients.  How much do you really think your doctor takes home from your $5000 surgery?  Less than you think – truth is, it’s his or her insurance company who gets the bulk of your money.  Meanwhile, it’s these same insurance companies (both your “health insurance” and his “malpractice insurance”) who are dictating the care you receive – not your doctor with his 12+ years of postgraduate education.  Have you ever felt like the medical community is schizophrenic?  Guess what: it is.  But not because they don’t know what they’re doing.  Some just have better insurance lawyers than others.  Of course, “better” is in the eye of the beholder.  Don’t believe me?  Then ask yourself this: why do you think c-section rates in America are highest in the world (despite our state-of-the-art prenatal care) … yet hospital birthing centers across the nation are being forced to shut down on account of being "too costly"?

So what do I think?  I do propose that Uncle Sam step in on this one.  That is, to cap malpractice lawsuits and related insurance rates.  Let’s bring down the costs that have absolutely nothing to do with health care.  I suspect that, were it handled properly, you’d see a 50% reduction in cost to the patient.  Meanwhile, give the patients a bit more control of their own care.  Then, perhaps, individuals might be able to afford their own health care without government aid or intervention.  One less bill for Uncle Sam altogether.  In the case of the truly poverty-stricken … well, I’d group it back with the community-supported food and housing programs I proposed earlier.

But then … “community supported” puts the effort and sacrifice back on us, the people.  And I get the distinct impression that the bulk of America, while wanting to “fix” Washington, aren’t particularly interested in putting the effort in themselves to do so …

Tell me, would you?

Hatred Doesn't Help

OK, as a disclaimer: this is not another sappy appeal to for compassion and tolerance with respect to the polarized differences between right and left in America.  In fact, it seems for all these messages of tolerance I hear in the media, there is none.  While preaching "tolerance" of differing viewpoints, for instance, it's pretty obvious the left is utterly intolerant of anyone who doesn't agree with them.

Still, there is no benefit to fighting back using their methods.


Do y'all remember when W. was in office?  Made those of us who voted for him c-r-a-z-y when the media painted him as lacking logic, common sense, and intelligence.  Oh man, did they like to accuse him of being either exceedingly stupid or utterly devoid of conscience.  It was disrespectful and utterly spiteful.  But we said, "they're liberals - what do you expect?"

And yet ... here we are acting in the exact same immature manner.  I daresay, downright hypocritical.

Look, I'm not one to suggest we keep quiet.  As saints, we have a responsibility to God to represent Him and His values (as dictated in Scripture) to the world and our nation.  As citizens of a democratic republic, we have a responsibility to voice what we believe should be standards of our country; to elect representatives who support those values, and to vote for those values when the opportunity presents itself.

And we should be utterly unashamed to represent said unpopular values.  Even if it means being torn apart by lions.

However ... this by no means allows for conduct that can not be pleasing to Y'shua.  He expressly told us, "Seek first the Kingdom of God, and His Righteousness" (Matthew 6:33).  When challenged by the Sanhedrin about submission to corrupt ruling authorities, he responded calmly, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's" (Matthew 22:21).  Not once did you hear him (or Paul, for that matter, who was a Roman citizen) criticize the emperor or senate.  Solomon goes to great pains to repeatedly warn us against foolish words and quick-tempered actions.  We would all be wise to consider these things before we speak.

Instead, perhaps we should ask ourselves, what does an ambassador of Christ look like?  What does it mean to seek first His Kingdom? 
Ambassadors are generally fairly uncompromising.  Their heavy responsibility is to represent their Lord to a foreign culture.  They adhere strictly to their own customs in a foreign land, and discuss them freely and openly with the locals.  They understand their culture completely and intimately; and have a complete understanding of the differences between their own culture and that of the nation where they preside.  They are always prepared to answer hard questions.  They are unashamed of who and what they are.  But you won't find them ridiculing the ways of the land.  It would, at the very least, be unproductive.

We as followers of Y'shua are caught between two worlds.  We are, on the one hand, "strangers in a strange land".  On the other, we are citizens and patriots of this great nation.  So what are we do.

Speak in love.  This is not sugar-coated "nicey-nice" false love, but everything that is encompassed by unconditional love.  There is no room for spite or foolishness in our talk.  It includes a broad range of compassion, mercy, and "tough love."  Consider carefully the words of Jude (vs. 22-23): "And you must show mercy to those whose faith is wavering.  Rescue others by snatching them from the flames of judgment. Show mercy to still others, but do so with great caution, hating the sins that contaminate their lives."

For me, this means picking my battles.  I see no benefit in attacking every little character flaw observed in our nation's leaders - such behavior does not represent the character of Christ well.  It does, however, emphasize our responsibility to remain uncompromising in the values of our faith; to consider carefully the words we use to defend it; and the broken spirits of those people who too often appear to be our enemies.